A fairly fair look at the city’s street fests

The summer outdoor festival season is upon us. With mass gatherings of shade tents, veggie corn dogs, and more muffin tops than the eye should see, San Francisco loves to celebrate itself. But let’s not forget that all street fairs are not created equal. Here’s the proof.

Karen Solomon

Street FairsThe 53rd Annual (Precious Cheese) North Beach Festival
DATES: June 16–17
TIME: 10 a.m.–6 p.m.
WHERE: Washington Square Park and along Grant
WEBSITE: www.northbeachfestival.com
NUMBER OF ATTENDEES: 85,000
RATIO OF PORT-O-POTTIES TO ATTENDEES: 1,977:1
TASTY TIDBIT: The sweet, sweet taste of nearly banned beer and wine.
TAKE HOME: Fair-trade crafts from Third World countries? What’s Italian about that?
DON'T MISS: The spiraling dough of World Champion Pizza Tosser Tony Gemignani.

The 31st Annual Union Street Festival
DATES: June 2–3
TIME: 10 a.m.–6 p.m.
WHERE: Union from Gough to Steiner
WEBSITE: www.unionstreetfestival.com
NUMBER OF ATTENDEES: 100,000
RATIO OF PORT-O-POTTIES TO ATTENDEES: 935:1
TASTY TIDBIT: Lattes. Nobody eats when there’s shopping to be done.
TAKE HOME: All kinds of art for your pied-à-terre.
DON'T MISS: Both kinds of music, classical and jazz.

The 23rd annual Fillmore Jazz Festival
DATES: June 30–July 1
TIME: 10 a.m.–6 p.m.
WHERE: Fillmore from Jackson to Eddy
WEBSITE: www.fillmorejazzfestival.com
NUMBER OF ATTENDEES: 90,000
RATIO OF PORT-O-POTTIES TO ATTENDEES: 1,475:1
TASTY TIDBIT: Pounds of New Orleans soul grub.
TAKE HOME: That hand­crafted tribal animal-skin drum you’ll never, ever play.
DON'T MISS: Every style of jazz ever made, including hip-hop, funk, eclectic, and the ever-feared “modern.”

The 37th Annual San Francisco LGBT Pride Celebration & Parade

DATES: June 23–24
TIME: Saturday, noon–6 p.m.; Sunday, 10:30 a.m.–7 p.m.
WHERE: Market and Civic Center
WEBSITE: www.sfpride.org
NUMBER OF ATTENDEES: 1 million, they claim
RATIO OF PORT-O-POTTIES TO ATTENDEES: 2,381:1
TASTY TIDBIT: Keg-size cosmos.
TAKE HOME: Wind socks, wind chimes, and bandannas in all the colors of the rainbow—at once.
DON'T MISS: The much-anticipated Norcal Waste Systems parade float!

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